That picture pretty much sums up how I felt about 10 minutes after this picture was taken.
I have a confession. Since January I have been trying to lose weight with one specific goal in mind–to not hate our Disney World pictures. I know that sounds oddly specific and vain….let me back up.
When I weighed myself back in January, I had hit an all-time high. And not in a good way. It was depressing not only because I didn’t like the way that I looked but also because I knew how unhealthy it was, despite the fact that I was exercising several times a week and was even training to do a half marathon at the time. I knew it was my poor food choices.
I started looking back through old pictures until I got to a family vacation where I looked at the pictures and thought “I’d be okay with myself if I was there again.” Using the date on the picture, I went into my FitBit tracking to see what I weighed that week. That would be my goal for our Disney trip. I gave myself 10 months to lose 37 pounds–taking into account a trip to Europe, work travel, holidays, etc. It seemed reasonable.
As of the day before we left for Disney, I was 2 pounds short. I was upset but told myself it would be okay…how much different could 2 pounds look?
We left for Disney and decided to get as many PhotoPass pictures as we could because it came free with our tickets. I vowed not to hide behind the kids because I had worked so hard! When the first pictures hit the Disney photo app, I wanted to cry. I didn’t look anything like I did 3 years ago at this same weight–despite doing cardio and weights religiously. This is the picture that set me off:
Ugh! That is so NOT what I was expecting.
I had a decision to make in that moment. Would I spend the trip kicking myself for not losing more weight or would I enjoy my time with my family and vow to get back to my weight loss routine when I got home?
I’m happy to report that we had a fabulous trip (although I was definitely a little more leery of what I was wearing and where I was standing in pictures each day). Today I got right back to my diet and fitness routine…although I’ll be waiting a few days to weigh myself after all of that vacation eating! I’ve set my next short-term weight loss goal to get down to a total of 42 pounds off by Christmas. I’m trying to be realistic while at the same time pushing myself. I’ve gotten this far by making a lot of little life choices, and I intend to continue with that.
The one promise I made myself this whole year was that I would NOT lose the weight the way that I did when the kids were little–with magic pills I bought online. No matter how desperate I get. I’d rather do it the right way than the way that damaged my body and mind (those things made me wacky!!).
So here are a few other pictures that did NOT make me want to cry! But instead remind me of the fun that we had and the memories that we made–regardless of what my scale said.