Ever tried having a discussion with your teen daughter about dating, having sex, drinking alcohol or being exposed to drugs? If so, you may have discovered that she puts up a wall against these types of conversations.  She may be too embarrassed or too afraid to reveal what she and her friends are doing, even if she has questions.

You may also be reluctant to bring up topics like these. What do you do if she asks about your own experiences and you don’t want to share them? Yet these are important issues. Talking with their moms can give girls crucial information that may keep them safe and help them make informed decisions when their peers engage in risky behavior.

This is where books can really help. When you read the same titles your daughter is reading, it gives you an entrée to talk about themes that appear in the pages—without the pressure of discussing either of your own personal details.

For instance, when the girls in my daughter’s mother-daughter book club read Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, we were able to talk about date rape and how alcohol plays a role in it. We brainstormed ways the main character could have acted to keep herself safe while at a party. This was a non-confrontational way to discuss situations the girls may face as they entered high school and started socializing with friends more and parents less.

You also benefit when you listen to concerns you daughter and her friends have. Discussing actions by a character in a book may bring up topics you never even knew they worried about. Talking about these actions is a non-threatening way to gain insight into your daughter’s world and issues she may face.

Another plus is that you may hear of the topic again months later, when your daughter encounters a similar situation in real life. Once you’ve broken the ice, it’s easier for you or your daughter to refer back to an earlier discussion. And that keeps the lines open for honest communication about even more issues in the future.

Cindy Hudson is the author of Book by Book: The Complete Guide to Creating Mother-Daughter Book Clubs (Seal Press, October 2009). She is the founder of two long-running mother-daughter book clubs, and she lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and two daughters. Visit her online at www.MotherDaughterBookClub.com.

by Cathy Stucker, author of The Mystery Shopper’s Manual

Mystery shopping is not all fun and games, but it is a flexible and enjoyable way to make extra money and get “free” stuff.

Although mystery shopping is work, it has definite advantages over a regular job. Because most mystery shoppers are independent contractors, they choose the assignments they are willing to do and work the hours they choose.

The variety of mystery shopping assignments available means there are jobs that will appeal to anyone. Just about any type of business may be mystery shopped—everything from stores and restaurants to banks and apartments, florists, casinos, hair salons, movie theaters, car dealers, and even doctors and hospitals.

Many people think of mystery shopping as a way of getting paid for your opinions, but these “undercover customers” are more like reporters. They provide answers to a series of objective questions about what the shopper’s experience was during a visit. Questions might include things such as: Were you greeted within 30 seconds? Did the salesperson tell you about the extended warranty? Did the cashier say thank you? Were you given a receipt?

In addition to answering a series of “yes” or “no” questions, the mystery shopper is usually asked to write a few comments or a brief narrative about the visit, giving additional information. For example, if the answer was no, the rest room was not clean, the client will want to know what was wrong.

Although the specifics of what happens on a secret shopping assignment will vary from one job to the next, the basic premise is the same: Mystery shoppers are the eyes and ears of the business owner, making sure that the standards established by the business are maintained at each location.

There are some shops that pay fees of $50, $100 or more, but most fees will be $5 – $20 or so. However, mystery shops requiring a purchase usually include a reimbursement, and the reimbursements can add up quickly. I have been reimbursed for everything from fast food to dry cleaning, salon services, an oil change for my car, cell phones, eyeglasses, groceries, expensive dinners at fine restaurants and much more. Reimbursements and discounts may range from a low of $10 or so to hundreds of dollars or, in some cases, thousands.

If you would like to be a mystery shopper, getting started is simple. Just apply to several legitimate companies and watch for assignments in your area. It can take a little time to get your first jobs, but once you have proven yourself to be reliable, you will see more and better opportunities come your way.

There are scams to watch out for, though. First, never pay to sign up as a mystery shopper. Legitimate companies will not charge you. And never cash a check or money order and wire money to someone you do not know. This is always a scam and mystery shopping companies will not ask you to do this.

You can learn more about becoming a mystery shopper and access a free list of nearly 200 legitimate mystery shopping companies at Cathy Stucker’s blog, http://MysteryShoppersManual.com/. Cathy has been a mystery shopper since 1995, she is the author of The Mystery Shopper’s Manual, and she has personally trained more than 10,000 mystery shoppers. You can make money as a professional mystery shopper, and Cathy can help!

With four kids I do a lot of reading.  I’ve taught each one of them to read with phonics my way.  However, as they outgrew the phonics program we started to read together each night.  I realized that reading together can do more than just benefit your kids – it benefits me as a parent.

READING TO TEACH

When my kids were toddlers until second grade I would read a book with them each night.  I did it to teach them to read.  It was the icing on the cake of our lessons.  I realized that my younger children learned to read and memorize words even earlier than my older children.  It was an enlightening benefit to reading with them so early.  Also, they used that for their cuddle time with mommy or daddy.  Both my husband and I would take turns reading to them.  Before we knew it, they wanted to read to us.

READING FOR BONDING

Even though reading offered a learning opportunity, it also offered a time to bond with our kids.  During the reading of stories we would ask questions.  Then as the kids got older (I have a 6, 9, 13, and 15yr old) we would act out stories that we repeated.  The kids loved, loved, loved this.  Even the older kids would play with us, just to get a kick out of scaring the little ones.  It was a way to move our reading to a family bonding experience that pulled the older kids into playing with our younger ones.  Not to mention it is just darn fun.

READING FOR EVOLVING

As an avid reader all of my life, my husband and kids encouraged me to write stories for them.  It was an inspiration for writing my books Explorer X-Alpha and The Pack.  My kids became my beta readers and active in story development.  Our reading together turned into us writing together.   All of my kids come up with story ideas, and my older two have even started writing.  My oldest son has entered a contest or two, and my oldest daughter beta reads for other authors also.  My youngest two kids, love to give me story ideas and even came up with the idea for the world I built for THE PACK and BANDITS by throwing suggestions at me.

THE OVERALL BENEFITS

Reading with your kids has given me so many gifts.  It’s been a teaching tool, a bonding tool, a safe platform for conversation, and the beginning of my career as a writer.   Try it for at least a year and you will be surprised how much reading just ten minutes a day can benefit you and your family.

By LM Preston, author of Explorer X-Alpha and THE PACK, http://lmpreston.blogspot.com/